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Self Love In 2020

Writer's picture: Shell Ma Belle Shell Ma Belle

Updated: Jan 15, 2023

In an ever changing world the importance of self care is being realized in 2020 as a predominant focus and emerging into an organized priority for 2021. With the influx of so much information in the age of technology and ever comparing oneself to the next glam pop sensation in addition to political mayhem and overstimulation of too much bad information it is important to remember that in order to regain your center in these tumultuous times you must first learn and hold fast to the basics of self love which can be discovered in the acts of self care.


Lets begin with the following:

  • Identifying and acknowledging your feelings.

Many people will come and go throughout your life but one constant is your daily reflection looking back at you. Be kind, patient and steadfast in your determination to embrace growth while enjoying your journey. Strive to be realistic about your expectations and hold fast to the knowledge of where you came from, where you are and where you choose to be. Others may know you well but only you have that secret insider knowledge of your life’s path and the steps that led you to here and now. Therefore, when your inner compass is tugging and letting you know something is amiss, pay attention. Learn to trust your inner voice and intuition and watch it grow strong and true; ready to point you in the right direction at future crossroads. There are many crutches on this journey we may lean on to temporarily suppress emotions but those temporary distractions pile up and the weight of it an increasing burden. Spend the time doing some emotional spring cleaning and your mind, body and soul will thank you for it!

  • Properly managing social media and news consumption.

This is probably one of the single most difficult challenges our generation faces today! If 2020 has taught us anything it’s the inadequacy of too much miss information across too many platforms and the degradation of quality relationships sadly replaced by the instant gratification of social media stimulation and click bait advertising. Don’t get caught in the web! The best way to manage your social media and news consumption is to understand how much time you are active and organize set times you consciously provide yourself as ‘you time.’ Remember, there are teams upon teams of employees whose sole job is to entice you to remain plugged in. Don’t let them win. Eventually you will become drained, eyes strained wondering where the time went and why you have neither the energy or inclination to reach your goals. Acknowledging this is the first step and the second is building resistance to the bait like a muscle being used for the first time. Stay strong! You will thank yourself for it when you realize you feel healthier, have more energy and time to put into hobbies and goals and things that bring you true happiness and joy.

In addition you are allowing your creative juices to flow and open to enhancing the world around you and not in your 5”x3“ screen! A great way to start is to put down your phone 2 hours before bedtime and don’t let it be the first thing you reach for in the morning before you’ve stretched out of bed and brushed your teeth. It’s all about balance.


  • Rebalancing your center while redefining who you wish to become.

We’ve discussed how important it is to learn to identify and acknowledge your feelings. This goes hand in hand with time management and consistently setting a proper amount of time aside to help you recharge, regroup and maintain the focus of enjoying the journey while planning out your baby steps for the future. When things go haywire with an overload of work, stress, and sometimes the monotonous structure of life, I know it's time for a nice hot soak in the bath! Candles, bubbles, Epsom Salt, body scrub, lotion, music or Netflix on my propped up iPad playing my current show, favorite piece of chocolate… yes, the whole nine yards! Whatever your whole nine yards are, take that time as a gift to yourself to say hey, this is our life and our moment!

Even if at first you still feel tired with the weight of the day, keep going, Ride through until you can soak in, ease those muscles and feel some of those layers shed off with each new breath of appreciation at yourself for taking the time to say you care, you matter.

While for me it’s a bath, painting, designing or writing, for others it may be a jog in the park, a strum of the guitar, catching up with a friend, journaling or baking your favorite dessert. Whatever it is, go the whole nine yards! You are definitely worth it! Once you’ve caught that smile and got the pep in your step back, redirect those breaths towards the next steps of what you wish to become!

  • Making baby steps towards positive change.

Baby steps and time management are so important!! How often do we say, I don’t know where time went? If we are just a little more consistent we can accomplish so much!

First, I highly recommend investing in a fun calendar if you don’t have one. Make a note of your goals and give yourself a realistic time frame to accomplish them. Once you accomplish them, celebrate and mark them off with pride. Some may not prefer to live by a schedule and while mine is more of a recommended guideline, I feel so much more accomplished and rested when I can see how I‘m managing my time and track my daily progress. Remember, whether a small or large task consistency is key!


  • Learning when to say no and when to say what the hell

There are only so many months in the year, weeks in the months, days in the weeks and hours in the day! As a yes person for most of my life and having learned the hard way how to say no let me be clear. There is only so much energy to accomplish the tasks that need to be done and the ones you wish to be done and everything in between. Nurturing that small voice inside until it becomes a steady compass will assist in determining what’s important to enriching your life and those that you love and care about and that of which is draining you of your time, energy and resources. Take note and be ok saying no. This is your life and your journey and you are behind the wheel of your decisions and what you do or don’t allow into the script of your life.


  • Appreciating the little moments

I think the most important piece of advice I can give you is to at any possible moment, consciously be aware of the now and find something however small, to appreciate where your steps have taken you.

Even when I’m the most depressed or annoyed, this exercise works best when you can take a deep breath, look around you and mark 3 things you are appreciative for. This allows you to take back the reins of your emotions and redirect them towards a path of positivity.

Above all, take time time to love and appreciate yourself and in being the best version of you, ready to share the positivity of your journey with others so that they too can become so inclined to reach the best version of themselves and together we can make the moment of ‘here and now‘ balanced with positivity and love.

Xoxo,

Shell Ma Belle





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